Our First Movie Date

Assalamualaikum and hi. Today was my happiest day because i had my first movie date ever with my boyfriend and i hope he is happy too. But, by the end of the day, we are not in a good terms.

   First thing is, i feel horrible about making him jealous regarding to the guy from my past. I know i'm being childish because made him jealous for no reason. I just feel needed when he is jealous. Yes i know i am kinda cruel and i shouldn't do that. So i said sorry before he went back to his hostel this evening.

   We actually should be spending our time together after the movies. Yes we had our dinner together but after he went back from his room, his mood changed. I realized it when he didn't talk much to me and he drove very fast that if the car can fly, it will fly. Then, he never opened the door for me before to leave the car but he did today. It hurts me a little because he made me feel that he is not in the mood because of me and maybe hate me too at that time. So before i left the car, i decided to say sorry for my mistakes then he said that its not because of me. Every time i wanted to apologize about something, i always wanted to hold his hand because that is my way to gain strength and to know if he is mad at me or not. When i'm about to leave the car, he doesn't want to let go of my hand and so do i. It is really hard for me to go at that time because i wanted to be there for him when he is at his lowest.

   I actually wanted to tell him how he means the world to me and how i love him very much that i never wanted to leave him. I never had that intention to compare him with the guy from my past. I'm just being childish by making him jealous. Its my fault though and i know that. I wanted to hug him so much today.

   Honestly i'm a bit sad because our happiest day turns out the other way. So i decided to not to contact him until he is okay. I will wait for him to contact me back after he is okay. The last time i whatsapp-ed him tonight is when i'm on my way to my event's meeting. I was hoping to spend my day today with him but i guess there must be a reason why all of this happened today. He also have his test tomorrow and tomorrow also, will be my busiest day.

   I am worried about him.