Mistakes.

Assalamualaikum and hi. So finally after almost 2 months of not going back home, i'm going home tonight with my sister and her friend. My train is at 11pm tonight and will arrive at 3am. Today will be a very tiring day for me. I don't want to go home but i guess i need to take a break for a while. My grandma is not feeling well too. That's the actual reason i'm going home this week.

   Yesterday, i met my boyfriend because i am worried because he seems not okay yesterday. I also have this one routine that i would like to meet him before i went back home. So i met him yesterday evening and sent him to his class after that. I am worried because he tweeted something about haunted by past mistakes and last night he tweeted about the name that will keep haunt him till the day of judgement. Its weird man. So i texted him  last night to ask if he is actually okay and he answered "okay jer". Then poof senyap.

   Actually i feel guilty because yesterday i challenged him to forget me and find another one because he keeps on teasing me like "oh awek" "lawanya awek tu" "lupa awek ada dekat sebelah". ???? I know it is a joke but i'm hurt somehow. Because i am that type that easily felt insecure and overthink. He should know that.

   And lately when i met him, i don't see any excitement in his face when he met me. I don't know if i overreact or what. I easily terasa dengan perubahan reaction someone even the slightest. I started to overthink lately thinking that he may be annoyed with me because i am being so clingy lately, like, i wanted to meet him everyday. I hate myself for that. What if he really find someone else and forget me ?

   Honestly, i love his changes these days. I can feel his love and attention. Before this, it is very rare for me to have all that kind of thing. I can feel he love me more than before and really appreciate my existence and never going to let me go. Its just that my overthinking disturbs me.

   I do afraid of losing him.