Confused.

Assalamualaikum and hi. So malas nak fikir grammatical error jadah jadah tu, i'm just going to update in bahasa rojak.

   Yesterday which is on Wednesday and today which is Thursday, adalah hari yang very hectic and emotional to me. Aku ada 2 test hari ni and guess what, semua susah af. And why my 2 days Rabu and Khamis jadi saaaaangat emotional ? Sebab boyfriend. He suddenly confessed to me yesterday that he had a crush on his girl best friend and dia dah crush dekat best friend dia since foundy. YANG TAK FAHAM TU KENAPA KENA BAGI TAHU SEKARANG. ITS BEEN 1 YEAR AND 2 MONTHS KOT SINCE WE GET BACK.

   And the thing that i hate the most is me, myself, for being so weak, yang tak tahu nak marah ke tengking boyfriend yang sah sah bersalah. I cried instead. And the best part is ? I gave my boyfriend the 5th chance man. I don't know if he will value the chance that i gave him this time. Even though i met him just know and semua dah settle, but i am still hurt as hell. I want him to make me believe that he will really appreciate me this time and prove to me that i am important in his life and that he really needs me. I want to see his effort. I love him so much. But if he is going to hurt me again and don't appreciate me, i don't hesitate to leave him even if i told him so many times that i won't because i am just a human. I have my limits too and somehow i need that  feeling of being wanted and loved by someone i love everyday as long as the love is still there.

   When i think back masa cuti semester dulu, rasa macam banyak je kena ignore and now ada je lagi cuma kurang. And it hurts me so much bila ingatkan balik sebab its like i am the one who can't leave without him but he can. My friends do said that if someone really wants you in their life, they will show their effort and in a relationship, it should be a win win situation. Masing masing sama sama put effort to make the relationship work. And i hope it will work this time.